


I'm not sorry

by iwaizumemes (skytramp)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-04
Updated: 2015-07-04
Packaged: 2018-04-07 17:14:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4271418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skytramp/pseuds/iwaizumemes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Why couldn’t we be happy, why can’t the ending be happy?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm not sorry

**Author's Note:**

> There are lines in this that are direct quotes from the song [Your Ex-Lover is Dead](www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5Or6-HOveg) by Stars. That song was one of three... or maybe it was four, that were prompts for this fic.

I carry you home, a courtesy, as I would tell anyone I owe you nothing after how it all ended. You stagger backwards, elbow and opposite shoulder hitting the couch simultaneously. Your hair is in your face, messy in a way it never is except when you’re drunk and I want to push it back, I want to kiss you again.   
  
“Why couldn’t we be happy, why can’t the ending be happy?” You ask the ceiling and begin to cry.   
  
“I don’t know. I don’t know.” I say to the floor and you don’t hear me, and it’s true. I leave without telling you what I always meant to say. That I never thought we’d be happy, I just knew that I needed you more than anything else in my life.  
  
The door slamming behind me feels like an end, never like a beginning, there’s nothing left to begin.   
  
__  
  
You are on the street, wearing a scarf that I’d recognize a mile away. I remember what it smells like: like cologne, like your skin, like springtime in our hometown, like  _us_.   
  
You don’t see me. I hide, around a corner, face in my hands. I thought it was over, I thought I didn’t miss you but this fear in my throat shows how wrong I was. I can’t breathe.   
  
 _Live through this, and you won’t look back._  I tell myself- again and again until you’re gone again.   
  
__  
  
 _It’s been years_ , I think.  
  
“I think we’ve met.” You say and I try to smile though it hurts.   
  
We shake hands and it feels like a flashback. Every memory of us, stored in my head that I wouldn’t forget, is playing on loop behind my eyes. I wonder if you can see it, the way you’re looking at me, the way our hands hold a few seconds too long.   
  
You’re not wearing the scarf, it’s summer time, but I wish you were and I tell you as much when we’re alone. When you smile at me it feels all wrong. You’re lying with the skin of your lips, and I tell you that too.   
  
“What do you want from me, Iwa-chan?” You ask and I shake your shoulders, I turn away. I don’t know what to say, there’s nothing to say.   
  
 _I’m not sorry I met you_ , I think.  
  
“I’ve moved on.” You say.   
  
 _I’m not sorry it’s over_ , I think. I don’t speak.   
  
“We had our chance.”   
  
 _I’m not sorry, there’s nothing to say_


End file.
